By Courtney Chambers

After watching older movies, I always wondered what the secret sauce was for super moms. You know who I’m talking about; the moms who always had the perfect dinner ready, never got tired, and ensured the kids were always prepared for every event. They made parenting look easy—while wearing stylish outfits.

But for me, I’m usually sporting sweats and struggling by the end of the day. Early in parenting, I was jealous of these moms I saw in movies and social media. I wanted to be that kind of super mom, but I didn’t know how.

Years into my parenting life, I remain far from that ideal. I’m weaker than I’d like to admit. It has taken years for me to acknowledge that the standard I was after was a crown of glory for myself. I was seeking to crown myself with super mom status through my skills and effort, but I didn’t realize that I was and will be the ingredient that makes me weaker. Instead of boasting about myself with my works, I needed to boast in Christ. I need to rely on Christ because I know and accept that I am weak.  

Dethroning myself and humbly replacing myself with Christ truly changed my view on motherhood. I went from focusing on myself to focusing on Christ. It made my parenting goals recenter around Christ and my kids knowing him rather than being the number one mom in my town. This mind shift is not something that happened overnight, nor does it mean we will never struggle. I still have the power struggle in my life, but I must humble myself and give the reins to him. And I’ve found that the days I willingly submit myself to him are the best days of parenting I have.

Embrace my weakness

I don’t know about you, but it’s difficult to admit I am weak. When I go to open a new pickle jar, I will try my hardest to open it before heading over to my husband for help (he opens it almost instantly every time). If it is difficult to ask my husband for help, imagine how much more difficult it is for me to ask God for strength.

I knew I needed Christ for my salvation, and I recognized my weakness and inability to save myself. But my struggle has been seeking his strength in the mundane of life; depending on him for help with the pickle jars. As a ministry wife and mom living away from family, I felt like I had to be independent. During our church planting years, you would find me chasing a toddler and wearing a baby on my chest at ministry events. When we passed food out, I would put my kids in high chairs next to me as I served people. Being independent became my identity, and weakness was never an option.

This mindset that I held on to for years was sinful. You see, it’s a beautiful thing to embrace our weaknesses. We are never disappointed when we lay down our burdens and lean into Christ for strength. Life satisfaction is never about how much or perfection. Instead, it is how we do it. Am I working for Christ and his glory or for myself? We are running a life-long race, not a marathon. I don’t have to beat the other moms to the end of the finish line; I can instead run the race and lean to Christ as I allow myself to be weak.

Embracing our weaknesses also removes the pressure to be the perfect parent. We will never be perfect. We will make mistakes and we will get tired, and that’s okay. God never asks us to be perfect; he asks us to be faithful.

Rejoice always

Do you ever struggle with crowning yourself over Christ? We tend to do this by boasting about our work. We list what we do and then pat ourselves on our back for a job well-done. Instead of boasting in our works, we can instead rejoice in Christ. As we wash the dishes, make the food, and bathe our kids—we rejoice in the Lord. When we take time to praise God in the mundane moments rather than boasting about ourselves, it takes the crown we seek and places it in front of the one who deserves it.

Practically, I can praise God for his provision of food as I cook, praise God for my kids as I bathe them, and praise God for providing money for us to purchase items like clothes and plates as I clean. In each situation, we can move our thoughts from “Look what I am doing” to “Thank you, God, for the ability to do.”

When I rejoice in Christ while I serve my family, it reminds me of why I am doing what I am doing. I serve my family because Christ served me on the cross. I serve my family because of the love that Christ poured out on me. The gospel fills us up so that it can flow out into our relationships around us. The gospel reminds me just how weak I am, yet it always causes me to rejoice in my weakness, not be condemned by it. Christ saved us while we were weak and uses us daily in our weakness. I would challenge you each day in parenting to find time to rejoice in the Lord instead of yourself as you live in the mundane.

Rest in Christ

When they talk to you, most parents will express how tired they are. That’s because parenting is exhausting! The exhaustion in parenting will quickly remind us of how weak we are. Your days are filled with caring for littles, discipling, and teaching. Parents are exhausted, so telling you to rest might seem silly. But we must rest. If we go back to creation, we see that for six days, God worked, and for one day, he rested. He didn’t need the day of rest but knew that humans did because of our weakness. We need to rest. More specifically, we must rest in Christ.

The question might have popped into your head: How am I supposed to rest as a parent? This could be done in a few ways. First, practice sabbath rest for your family. God created a day of rest for a reason, and it was because he knew exactly what we needed. As a family in ministry, we rest on Sundays. We rest through worshipping with our local body, resting from typical day-to-day tasks, and simplifying our days. Implementing a day of rest helped remind us of our weakness and our need for Christ. It also allowed us to prepare for the next week and do everything to glorify Christ.

Another way to practically rest is to not load your schedules to the point where Christ is no longer the focal point. This means we might say no to something because we don’t want to neglect Christ as a family. The busier I get, the easier it is for me to praise myself for my work. When our schedules have little room for rest, we tend to cling to our strength instead of Christ.

Resting in Christ is something we can do every day. When I struggle with anger in the midst of parenting, I can reset by resting in Christ. When I receive news that is difficult to bear, I can rest in Christ. Calling out to God in my weak moments and seeking rest reminds us of God’s greatness. He didn’t save us because he knew we would be the best parents ever; he saved us because he loved and called us his own. Remembering the gospel reminds us that we can rest because God is still at work conducting his sovereign plan, even as we rest and cling to him.

When we release the pressures of being a super parent from our minds, we find freedom. I don’t need to be perfect or independent. God loves me in my weakness and allows me to cling to him. He provides us rest for our souls and fills us up to live each day to glorify himself. He is not calling us to perfectionism; he is calling us to faithfulness.  

Courtney is a pastor’s wife and mom of three living in northeast Missouri. Courtney has a Bachelor’s in World Missions and a Master’s in Biblical Counseling.  Courtney is passionate about biblical theology and reaching the next generation. In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing, and baking. You can find her @courtneyrchambers and @thereformedlife

Further reading:

What if Motherhood Was Meant to be Hard? — Risen Motherhood (squarespace.com)

Crying Over Spilled Milk – The Daily Grace Co.

Real Rest for Weary Moms — Risen Motherhood

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